ic inbox

[mrsnesbitt]

[generic voice mail greeting]

voice | video | action | text

Comments

text; un: fern

[laminae]

[Part of trying to do better means trying to be more open with people, though the thought of that is still terrifying to Fern. That's why he's trying to do this slowly, with people he knows won't freak out at him. He trusts Buzz a ton, and Buzz kind of already knows what's going on with his head thanks to what went down last October, so it makes sense to reach out to him now that he's no longer repressing everything.]

hi man
i uh
wanted to talk to you about some stuff

text UN: Ranger

[mrsnesbitt]

[possibly somewhat predictably, buzz answers near immediately.]

Hello, Fern. It's nice to hear from you.
Do you want to come over to talk?

[laminae]

it's

probably easier to do this over text

[Because he now remembers the last time Buzz encountered the Grass Demon, and he doesn't want anything weird to end up happening. Also? He's terrified and text is a heck of a lot easier to handle than a face-to-face conversation.]

[mrsnesbitt]

Of course. Whatever works best for you.

[laminae]

ok thanks
um
you remember last October, right? the one from a year ago, i mean

[mrsnesbitt]

[oh god. oh god he's going to turn into a monster again and buzz is gonna have to tear his own heart out again ohhhh god he hates this stupid fucking town]

How could I forget.
Is something similar happening?

[laminae]

no
not uh right now
i'm ok

i just
wanted to tell you that it kind of
turns out i had put a lot of that in my mental vault
i was repressing it, you know? and i'm not anymore
soooo i remember all of it

[mrsnesbitt]

Good. I'm glad you're okay.

That, however, is troubling.

[laminae]

not going to lie, it doesn't feel great
i think it's probably better for me, though
the parts that made me ME didn't exactly go away when i became Fern, you know?
and i need to deal with it

[mrsnesbitt]

That's a good way of looking at it.

[what brought this on? he thinks, then immediately feels guilty for it.]

Where do you think you've come so far?

[laminae]

weeeelllllll
i'm not gonna repress the fact that i'm part
weird octopus
thing

also sorry for how it
he?
i was towards you last October
i was a jerk

[mrsnesbitt]

I don't mind.
It was all worth it to help you in the end.
Do you... have contact with him, or is he you?

[laminae]

he's me
or part of me, at least
as weird and creepy and gross as it is

[mrsnesbitt]

For what it's worth, I don't think you - or he - are any of those things.

[laminae]

thanks
doesn't change my opinion about myself
but it's nice knowing other people think i'm better than that

[mrsnesbitt]

You don't need to change your opinion until you're ready to.
And I will always think that, no matter what happens.
You're a very brave and kind person, Fern. Nothing will change that.

[laminae]

geez

[He wants to tell Buzz he's wrong, he isn't brave or kind, but he's trying to be better about that.]

i'm
just going to go ahead and take your word for it

[mrsnesbitt]

You don't have to believe me, you know.
I support you the best I can but ultimately your opinion of yourself is something only you can work out.

Do you need to talk about anything else that happened last October?

[laminae]

yyyeaaaah not looking forward to trying to do that

uh
just wanted to thank you for all the heart stuff
you really helped me out three

[mrsnesbitt]

It's alright.
If I'm being honest, I felt quite guilty for leaving you when you needed the company.
I owed it to you, if nothing else.

[laminae]

it's ok
you couldn't have known and October was hard on everyone

[mrsnesbitt]

Everyone's first, yes.

[he still blames himself. it's not an awful source of self-flagellation, god knows buzz is emotionally healthy enough to avoid that specific pitfall, but he still knows he failed in his duty, there.]