back at it again at al's toy barn (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mrsnesbitt) wrote2019-09-11 04:05 pm
mrsnesbitt) wrote2019-09-11 04:05 pm
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[Woody has been working up the courage to face what he's sure is... something not good, not something he wants to face, but at this point the feeling of being left in dark is a little too oppressive to ignore. Jessie and Buzz have had the fortune of keeping a secret in a time when events are too insane for Woody to have really questioned it... or at least it would have been fortunate, if the cowboy hadn't noticed the 'Bonnie' written on the bottom of Buzz's foot not long after he'd gotten here.
His talk with Bo didn't particularly improve his concerns.
So here he is, moving through their townhouse, giving Bullseye a goodnight scratch under the chin before hopping down the stairs and into the main living room area. The others are already upstairs getting ready to sleep, probably, and Buzz isn't up there, so... now's the time, if any. It's planned but compulsive, if that even makes sense; he knew he'd have to do it, but today it just — it just has eaten at him enough.]
Hey, Buzz? You down here...?
I had something I wanted to ask you about.
[Maybe he shouldn't be making this a thing. Maybe things are hard enough without having to add stress to everything. But he just. Has to ask. He has to know this feeling he has is all just overblown and not a big deal; maybe they just wanted to not hurt his brain, thinking about them being from different times.]
His talk with Bo didn't particularly improve his concerns.
So here he is, moving through their townhouse, giving Bullseye a goodnight scratch under the chin before hopping down the stairs and into the main living room area. The others are already upstairs getting ready to sleep, probably, and Buzz isn't up there, so... now's the time, if any. It's planned but compulsive, if that even makes sense; he knew he'd have to do it, but today it just — it just has eaten at him enough.]
Hey, Buzz? You down here...?
I had something I wanted to ask you about.
[Maybe he shouldn't be making this a thing. Maybe things are hard enough without having to add stress to everything. But he just. Has to ask. He has to know this feeling he has is all just overblown and not a big deal; maybe they just wanted to not hurt his brain, thinking about them being from different times.]
I'm here, [he calls out. he's up on the couch, putting away the remnants of a board game before bed. enough stuff has been blowing up in the last few months that he doesn't immediately panic or anything. this could be about literally anything! why would he think it's about the, uh. Thing.
and so, blissfully unaware, the space toy hops down off the couch to meet woody as he comes into the room.] Everything alright?
and so, blissfully unaware, the space toy hops down off the couch to meet woody as he comes into the room.] Everything alright?
[Jessie prides herself on being able to roll with the punches. Sure, sometimes those punches mean she has a little bit of a mental breakdown afterwards- but she always brushes herself off after the aforementioned breakdown and continues onwards until the next thing causes her to lose her collective everything. It's a tried and tested coping mechanism that's got her through the past fifty years.
Deerington is a whole different kind of mess, though. You can't roll with the punches so well when they're a pretty constant barrage of awful. The latest awful with Mami was ... deeply unpleasant. She knows children here die. Will died here- and he's brushed that off like it was nothing, but it doesn't feel like it's nothing. And now it's happened to Mami, too.
How're they supposed to look after the kids here when they're dealing with forces that literally kill them? What are they supposed to do to combat that? Jessie has no damn idea - she just knows she's real damn tired - she carries so much darn baggage around with her already, she could really do without the extra Deerington is giving her. She doesn't have the same repression skills as the others do. Her emotions tend to be a ticking time bomb - it's never a case of if they'll go off but when- and she's just about reaching her limit.
And so, after all that mess with Mami, she gets home feeling like she's been run over by a Tonka Truck. Bullseye greets her with her usual enthusiasm, and Jessie pauses to ruffle his little felt mane. ]
Hey, buddy, how's it goin'? [The answer, Bullseye, is that it's going awfully She lets out a slow, tired breath, then glances up, listening for any signs of life for the rest of the occupants. She... should probably let Buzz know, at least. Dang it. ] Hey, anyone else home?
Deerington is a whole different kind of mess, though. You can't roll with the punches so well when they're a pretty constant barrage of awful. The latest awful with Mami was ... deeply unpleasant. She knows children here die. Will died here- and he's brushed that off like it was nothing, but it doesn't feel like it's nothing. And now it's happened to Mami, too.
How're they supposed to look after the kids here when they're dealing with forces that literally kill them? What are they supposed to do to combat that? Jessie has no damn idea - she just knows she's real damn tired - she carries so much darn baggage around with her already, she could really do without the extra Deerington is giving her. She doesn't have the same repression skills as the others do. Her emotions tend to be a ticking time bomb - it's never a case of if they'll go off but when- and she's just about reaching her limit.
And so, after all that mess with Mami, she gets home feeling like she's been run over by a Tonka Truck. Bullseye greets her with her usual enthusiasm, and Jessie pauses to ruffle his little felt mane. ]
Hey, buddy, how's it goin'? [The answer, Bullseye, is that it's going awfully She lets out a slow, tired breath, then glances up, listening for any signs of life for the rest of the occupants. She... should probably let Buzz know, at least. Dang it. ] Hey, anyone else home?
[having been a mix between genuinely too exhausted to actually go back out into the town after the hellmonth that was october (buzz and jessie must've, what, slept like three hours the entire month between them? he doesn't even want to think how it must've been for poor bo and woody) and also not really interested in being at risk again, buzz remains blissfully unaware of what's happened with mami.
what are bubbles if meant to be burst, though?]
Hey, Jessie! [he calls out from the kitchen. he'd been elbow-deep in one of the drawers doing... something, but pushes it closed when he hears her voice. hopping off the counter and onto the floor to greet her.] ...Are you okay? You look, uh...
[DEEPLY TRAUMATISED??]
what are bubbles if meant to be burst, though?]
Hey, Jessie! [he calls out from the kitchen. he'd been elbow-deep in one of the drawers doing... something, but pushes it closed when he hears her voice. hopping off the counter and onto the floor to greet her.] ...Are you okay? You look, uh...
[DEEPLY TRAUMATISED??]
[A part of her wishes she could avoid telling him. But she's been keeping stuff from Woody and she's been keeping the whole heart mess from Buzz already. She's not duplicitous by nature, two lies are already two lies too many to keep going. She keeps patting the horse for a moment because Bullseye is soothing. He's a good horse. She doesn't have to deal with any of this with him.
Her shoulders sag at his question. Can they have maybe like one week where nothing terrible happens? Just one? Heck, she'd take half a week at this point. Just a couple days of peace and quiet. ]
Um. You might wanna avoid going out into town for a while. There's- stuff happening again. Already.
[Good start, good start. She rests her forehead against Bullseye's soft plush-y neck, steeling herself. Just... get it said.]
There's something you should know. About Mami.
Her shoulders sag at his question. Can they have maybe like one week where nothing terrible happens? Just one? Heck, she'd take half a week at this point. Just a couple days of peace and quiet. ]
Um. You might wanna avoid going out into town for a while. There's- stuff happening again. Already.
[Good start, good start. She rests her forehead against Bullseye's soft plush-y neck, steeling herself. Just... get it said.]
There's something you should know. About Mami.
Okay. We can stay in, it'll be alright. We'll stay safe.
[something he isn't saying as a platitude-- maybe it's naive, but he genuinely believes it.
anyway, he knows that look, that posture. something bad has happened. buzz crosses the distance quickly to put a hand under jessie's forearm gently and his other one on bullseye's neck. such a good boy.]
I know her powers have been acting up... [oh yeah he's expecting bad news already.]
[something he isn't saying as a platitude-- maybe it's naive, but he genuinely believes it.
anyway, he knows that look, that posture. something bad has happened. buzz crosses the distance quickly to put a hand under jessie's forearm gently and his other one on bullseye's neck. such a good boy.]
I know her powers have been acting up... [oh yeah he's expecting bad news already.]
[She's not convinced staying in will keep them safe. Because, ultimately, the desire to help the people in this place will override their need to keep themselves safe. Not a single one of them is selfish enough to stand by while the people- especially the kids here suffer.
She's got a strong desire to just sit herself on the floor and curl into her Anxiety Ball and just have at. It probably wouldn't solve much, but it might ease the tide of everything just sloshing about in her little ragdoll chest. She finally looks at Buzz, turning her head at his touch. ]
Buzz. She- she died. I - I saw her. Something must've happened with her powers. There were these creepy not-doll people and they dragged me off into this- [Okay, nope, she's not explaining this well. ] She was dead though. When they got me to where we were going.
She's got a strong desire to just sit herself on the floor and curl into her Anxiety Ball and just have at. It probably wouldn't solve much, but it might ease the tide of everything just sloshing about in her little ragdoll chest. She finally looks at Buzz, turning her head at his touch. ]
Buzz. She- she died. I - I saw her. Something must've happened with her powers. There were these creepy not-doll people and they dragged me off into this- [Okay, nope, she's not explaining this well. ] She was dead though. When they got me to where we were going.
[his expression goes through so much inside several moments-- confusion, grief, concern, shock and horror. it's probably kind of obvious he has absolutely no idea how to process this, but he'll do his best for jessie the way he always does. she saw it. buzz gives bullseye a little pat then shifts his hands to take both of hers.]
Jessie...
[he can't even imagine how it must be affecting her. he saw some bodies himself a couple of weeks ago, but he didn't know who any of them were. didn't see them up close. still wants to barf when he thinks of it. this? this is far beyond what any of them could ever be ready to cope with, even someone hardened like jessie. buzz doesn't really know what else to do, so he pulls her into a tight hug.]
Jessie...
[he can't even imagine how it must be affecting her. he saw some bodies himself a couple of weeks ago, but he didn't know who any of them were. didn't see them up close. still wants to barf when he thinks of it. this? this is far beyond what any of them could ever be ready to cope with, even someone hardened like jessie. buzz doesn't really know what else to do, so he pulls her into a tight hug.]
[Jessie really doesn't know how to process it herself. This doesn't fall into her usual remit of grief and anxiety. This is something new and she's not sure how she's supposed to deal with it. She felt awful when she learned Will had died- but that was after the fact when he came back again to tell the tale. It made a detachment to the whole thing that she couldn't have with Mami. She was gone and that was that.
She searches for some words- to try and say how she's feeling- or to try and offer some comfort to him. After all, Mami means the gosh-darn world to him, too. Possibly more. But she struggles to find anything. Nothing seems like it would do the situation any justice. How do you even bring into words about seeing a dead kid? It's a horror situation for any toy. They exist to make kids happy- what do you do when one is dead? Just... gone? And sure, Mami might be old enough to not strictly qualify any more, but it didn't make her loss any less great.
And so, Jessie says nothing, she welcomes the hug greatly, taking no small measure of strength from it. She sags a little, partially to compensate for the height difference, but mostly because she's so goddamned tired. This place just needs to stop. For one, single day. She buries her face in the space between his head and his spacesuit and lets out a shuddery breath.
God, she is so fucking done. She'll pick herself up from this and dust herself off, she knows, she always does. Jessie never gives up, and all that. But just for a few scant moments, she wants to just not pick herself up. She trusts Buzz enough to feel she can at least do that around him. If only for a little while. ]
She searches for some words- to try and say how she's feeling- or to try and offer some comfort to him. After all, Mami means the gosh-darn world to him, too. Possibly more. But she struggles to find anything. Nothing seems like it would do the situation any justice. How do you even bring into words about seeing a dead kid? It's a horror situation for any toy. They exist to make kids happy- what do you do when one is dead? Just... gone? And sure, Mami might be old enough to not strictly qualify any more, but it didn't make her loss any less great.
And so, Jessie says nothing, she welcomes the hug greatly, taking no small measure of strength from it. She sags a little, partially to compensate for the height difference, but mostly because she's so goddamned tired. This place just needs to stop. For one, single day. She buries her face in the space between his head and his spacesuit and lets out a shuddery breath.
God, she is so fucking done. She'll pick herself up from this and dust herself off, she knows, she always does. Jessie never gives up, and all that. But just for a few scant moments, she wants to just not pick herself up. She trusts Buzz enough to feel she can at least do that around him. If only for a little while. ]
[Woody's probably not the most convincing when he rubs his neck and says:]
... Yeah, sure. Everything's good.
[Everything's not good. But he's not sure how to particularly leap into the topic at hand. Maybe he should just... mentally crab-walk his way into it. He adjusts his vest a little, pats himself off like there's anything left to clean up, like he's just collected dust in the short time he's not seen Buzz.]
I'm just worried about getting you guys back to Bonnie, I guess.
... I know you haven't really had time to meet her yet, but she seems pretty great, right? Getting to meet her that first time, I mean. I wish you'd had more time to get to know her before getting dragged into all of this.
[Danger, Will Robinson.]
... Yeah, sure. Everything's good.
[Everything's not good. But he's not sure how to particularly leap into the topic at hand. Maybe he should just... mentally crab-walk his way into it. He adjusts his vest a little, pats himself off like there's anything left to clean up, like he's just collected dust in the short time he's not seen Buzz.]
I'm just worried about getting you guys back to Bonnie, I guess.
... I know you haven't really had time to meet her yet, but she seems pretty great, right? Getting to meet her that first time, I mean. I wish you'd had more time to get to know her before getting dragged into all of this.
[Danger, Will Robinson.]
[there's a short pause and buzz is very carefully facing away from woody when he says:] ...Well, you're coming back with us, right? You're not planning to stay here or anything, are you?
[he isn't asking it seriously but there's... something in his voice. could be construed as buzz thinking woody would stay to help the people here. could be something else. something a little deeper.
he looks back over, finally, straightening out some cards.] She seems like a good kid. Andy liked her, after all.
[he isn't asking it seriously but there's... something in his voice. could be construed as buzz thinking woody would stay to help the people here. could be something else. something a little deeper.
he looks back over, finally, straightening out some cards.] She seems like a good kid. Andy liked her, after all.
Huh...? Why would I not go back with you? We've gotta stick together, don't we? [He looks a little unsettled by the question, because — okay, he knows he'd been ready to walk away, to go to college with Andy and start that new chapter, even if his friends weren't with him... But even still....] I'd rather get going out of Scarytown as soon as everyone else can, considering the stuff I've seen so far.
... Dreams don't last forever, right?
[He tucks his thumb in his belt, quieting.]
He did. When I'd been with her for that short time, it'd been the happiest I'd been in a while. I think you guys probably felt the same way, when Andy took us all out of that box. [The last time Andy'd ever see him, really. He couldn't imagine any reason he'd come back to visit — it's not like they're relatives who've parted ways. It's been hard to think about, and being frozen in time here hasn't made the pangs of loss any worse.] Better than being in some attic, right?
... Dreams don't last forever, right?
[He tucks his thumb in his belt, quieting.]
He did. When I'd been with her for that short time, it'd been the happiest I'd been in a while. I think you guys probably felt the same way, when Andy took us all out of that box. [The last time Andy'd ever see him, really. He couldn't imagine any reason he'd come back to visit — it's not like they're relatives who've parted ways. It's been hard to think about, and being frozen in time here hasn't made the pangs of loss any worse.] Better than being in some attic, right?
Yeah, [he says with a little sigh.] me too. I would've been happy never seeing half the stuff I saw last month, honestly.
[finally, he looks back. completely unaware of the irony of having a similar issue; as with andy moving on, woody moving on was only a good thing. doesn't mean buzz has any idea how to fully deal with the concept of his best friend who's been around since he fell out of the box suddenly... not being there, and not coming back. knowing woody is happy with bo only goes so far, and dwelling on it too long just makes him feel awful and selfish.
...anyway:] No question about it. I miss Andy too, [though not quite in the same way, and he knows that.] but he was happier knowing we ended up with someone who loved us so much right off the bat. She really does have an incredible imagination!
[...]
From that first playtime. It was nice to see her taking a shining to Jessie, too.
[finally, he looks back. completely unaware of the irony of having a similar issue; as with andy moving on, woody moving on was only a good thing. doesn't mean buzz has any idea how to fully deal with the concept of his best friend who's been around since he fell out of the box suddenly... not being there, and not coming back. knowing woody is happy with bo only goes so far, and dwelling on it too long just makes him feel awful and selfish.
...anyway:] No question about it. I miss Andy too, [though not quite in the same way, and he knows that.] but he was happier knowing we ended up with someone who loved us so much right off the bat. She really does have an incredible imagination!
[...]
From that first playtime. It was nice to see her taking a shining to Jessie, too.
[He nods, but feels heavy all over. He's lying to you, a little voice in his head says. He'd never do that, would he? Not unless he's got a mighty big reason. For someone who doesn't have a flesh and bone body, he sure feels like his throat isn't cooperating with him.]
Of course... I can't imagine a kid who wouldn't take a shining to her.
To any of you — who doesn't like a Buzz Lightyear toy?
[His smile falters, despite himself.
And then he sighs, and rubs a hand down his face, which... is probably too clear a sign now that something about this conversation is gonna nosedive soon. With some hesitance, he drops that hand to his side, turning to Buzz more fully.]
... Buzz, look at the bottom of your boot.
Of course... I can't imagine a kid who wouldn't take a shining to her.
To any of you — who doesn't like a Buzz Lightyear toy?
[His smile falters, despite himself.
And then he sighs, and rubs a hand down his face, which... is probably too clear a sign now that something about this conversation is gonna nosedive soon. With some hesitance, he drops that hand to his side, turning to Buzz more fully.]
... Buzz, look at the bottom of your boot.
It was still nice-- I think she needed it. She certainly deserved it.
[and considering he hadn't even realised bonnie's name on the bottom of his boot, the moment woody mentions it it pretty much falls into place. how could he have missed something so obvious?
it's fine. he can keep this up. just do it and say bonnie put her name on them a couple hours after she played with them, right? no problem. on the same day.
just do it. say it. just lie to him one more time. you've been lying all this time, what's one more? what's one more little white lie to your best friend?
just say it.]
I don't... want to do that. [..................... you blew it, lightyear. great job. everything bo and jessie needed just went up in flames because you--] I-- I got all the mud off. It's fine, there's nothing there. If there's footprints around it wasn't me.
[he looks back to the game, awkwardly, lightly kicking it so the lid settles properly.]
[and considering he hadn't even realised bonnie's name on the bottom of his boot, the moment woody mentions it it pretty much falls into place. how could he have missed something so obvious?
it's fine. he can keep this up. just do it and say bonnie put her name on them a couple hours after she played with them, right? no problem. on the same day.
just do it. say it. just lie to him one more time. you've been lying all this time, what's one more? what's one more little white lie to your best friend?
just say it.]
I don't... want to do that. [..................... you blew it, lightyear. great job. everything bo and jessie needed just went up in flames because you--] I-- I got all the mud off. It's fine, there's nothing there. If there's footprints around it wasn't me.
[he looks back to the game, awkwardly, lightly kicking it so the lid settles properly.]
Buzz...
[It's an exasperated, miserable sound, hands falling at his sides uselessly.]
Buzz, don't try to step around this; you and I both know there's been a secret here this whole time — since you and Jessie got here to begin with. Bonnie wrote that on your foot, didn't she? When did she do it? How much further ahead of me are you really?
[He steps closer, more in Buzz's line of sigh, painted brows knitted.]
Friends aren't supposed to lie to each other, are they?
You can't keep me in the dark here!
[It's an exasperated, miserable sound, hands falling at his sides uselessly.]
Buzz, don't try to step around this; you and I both know there's been a secret here this whole time — since you and Jessie got here to begin with. Bonnie wrote that on your foot, didn't she? When did she do it? How much further ahead of me are you really?
[He steps closer, more in Buzz's line of sigh, painted brows knitted.]
Friends aren't supposed to lie to each other, are they?
You can't keep me in the dark here!
[maybe if woody had asked when it was just buzz he would've been fine keeping it up. maybe if he hadn't asked after the hellstorm that was last month, he would've been fine keeping it up. he certainly picked the right time...
he backs up a little, looking about as uncomfortable as he ever has.]
I'm not-- I don't want to--!
he backs up a little, looking about as uncomfortable as he ever has.]
I'm not-- I don't want to--!
Edited 2019-11-11 12:13 (UTC)
[finally, he stops, and rubs his elbow awkwardly. looks away again. he should've come clean from the start, or just... expected this. what a damn fool he is.]
Just... a year.
Just... a year.
Aha... ha ha... I think I must've misheard you there.
It sounded a lot like you said a year.
[He looks surprisingly hopeful that he completely misheard a very clear and succinct reply.]
It sounded a lot like you said a year.
[He looks surprisingly hopeful that he completely misheard a very clear and succinct reply.]
[you're really making him say it again, huh...]
That's... what I said. A year. I'm sorry, I didn't know how to tell you.
That's... what I said. A year. I'm sorry, I didn't know how to tell you.
Didn’t know how to...
W... well, that’s not that bad, right? It’s just a — a year! A year to look forward to... there’s no big deal here really, is there...? [But as he rambles, step back, paces and talks himself through it, an unsettled concern crosses his face.] Is someone in trouble? The gang’s not in any hot water, are they? Is anyone hurt? Lost?
Bonnie loved you guys, I could see it with my own eyes; don’t tell me someone got thrown out—!
[He’d never let that happen, not after how hard they all fought to get home.
How hard they all fought to live and be happy!]
W... well, that’s not that bad, right? It’s just a — a year! A year to look forward to... there’s no big deal here really, is there...? [But as he rambles, step back, paces and talks himself through it, an unsettled concern crosses his face.] Is someone in trouble? The gang’s not in any hot water, are they? Is anyone hurt? Lost?
Bonnie loved you guys, I could see it with my own eyes; don’t tell me someone got thrown out—!
[He’d never let that happen, not after how hard they all fought to get home.
How hard they all fought to live and be happy!]
No! No, no-one's hurt or [HRRRNGH] l--lost. No-one. It's a good year!
[he tugs his spacesuit a little uncomfortably, then pulls himself up to sit on the box of the game he's put away on the floor.]
She loved you too, Woody. You don't need to-- talk like you're separate from us all. It just seemed... kind of... I don't know. Cruel? To talk to you about stuff you wouldn't understand that you were there for.
[but... he did end up that way, didn't he? not so much buzz thinks woody didn't like the people he was with anymore or bonnie, but... he had to leave. he wants to tell woody so bad they were happy for the entire time, but he can't. he can't bring himself to lie again.]
It was a good year. You don't have to worry about anyone being donated or breaking.
[he tugs his spacesuit a little uncomfortably, then pulls himself up to sit on the box of the game he's put away on the floor.]
She loved you too, Woody. You don't need to-- talk like you're separate from us all. It just seemed... kind of... I don't know. Cruel? To talk to you about stuff you wouldn't understand that you were there for.
[but... he did end up that way, didn't he? not so much buzz thinks woody didn't like the people he was with anymore or bonnie, but... he had to leave. he wants to tell woody so bad they were happy for the entire time, but he can't. he can't bring himself to lie again.]
It was a good year. You don't have to worry about anyone being donated or breaking.
[it gets to a point where there's just... nothing to say. buzz isn't really sure he wants to hear anything right now, anyway. talking about it just makes it more real, and he doesn't want to risk cracking around her, not right now. he wants to hold her up through this, literally and figuratively.]
I've got you, [he says, gently.] Just stay here for a little while.
I've got you, [he says, gently.] Just stay here for a little while.
[Jessie just... hangs there for a little while. She's so gosh-darn tired. The last month was a snowball of awful and November's shaping up to be pretty dreadful too. None of this still touches upon her decades of confinement (but then, very little can, the timescale makes a difference, there) but it's getting pretty dang close. She'd probably deal with this better if she could get some shut-eye, but that sure ain't happening. Thanks, horror-cocoons, thanks.
When she speaks again, it's a little muffled, because she's not quite ready to release her death-grip on him just yet. ]
This place is so awful. All the time. It just don't quit.
When she speaks again, it's a little muffled, because she's not quite ready to release her death-grip on him just yet. ]
This place is so awful. All the time. It just don't quit.
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