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[he's quiet for a long few moments, clearly debating if he wants to get into this. finally, he decides he can't just keep it from her. he holds the picture out.

it's one of an ideal future; immediately clear as one that doesn't exist. it shows woody and bo together, duke and ducky and bunny are sort of visible, but it's mostly woody and bo in frame... in bonnie's room with the others.

buzz just grimaces.]

I don't know what to make of this one. This is impossible. [and yet, it's a very quiet, very selfish hope of his. logically, he wouldn't call this an ideal future. emotionally, though...]

[Jessie peers over his shoulder to look at the picture. She never really met the rest of Bo's motley crew, but she at least recognises them from the top of the carousel. It's not them that catches her attention, though. It's Woody and Bo, in Bonnie's room.

It's an impossibility - she can see why Sodder would offer a gift like this- a hope for something that can never happen. But oh, how it stings. And if Buzz got this as his picture, it's got to hurt him more.

She moves to give him a little from-behind hug. Trying to offer some sort of comfort. ]

I'm real sorry, Buzz. It is impossible, but it's still a nice thought, right?

[he thinks he's been real careful about this. he wants to be strong for jessie and so far... neither of them have really had a chance to actually talk about it, have they? buzz had wanted to maybe bring it up on the trip back home when everyone else had gone to sleep but... so much for that.]

No, it's not. Why would I want either of them to give up what they want to come back? [he shakes his head. he considers ripping it, but can't bring himself to.] Bo certainly doesn't want to be stuck in another room, and Woody needs the freedom to live for himself, doesn't he? Why would I want them back?

[Jessie would appreciate his valiant effort, even if it's not strictly needed. She understands, all too well, this horrible, conflicting feeling. Wanting them to be happy but also not wanting them to go. It's unfortunate the two aren't mutually inclusive any more.

She's gonna stay hugging him a while, sorry, Buzz, she thinks you need a good huggin'. ]

Because you still care about them? Just because they left doesn't change that. It doesn't just make those feelings go away. [You can't tidy your emotions and hide them away in a filing cabinet, Buzz, it doesn't work that way. ] It's not a bad thing to still want them in your life, I know I sure do. They're still our family- no matter where they go. No amount of distance is gonna change that.

It's not about me.

[which is just a round about way of saying he's going to shove them down deep instead of dealing with what being here has dug up.]

It doesn't matter what I want.

[Jessie lets go of him, mostly so she can walk around to his front to look at him properly- real concern crossing her features. She's well used to Buzz's extraordinary ability of repression, but it doesn't mean she likes it any- especially when it's likely causing him pain.

She rests her hands on his shoulders, brow furrowing. She couldn't hold something like this in if she tried her hardest- she doesn't know how Buzz does it. But it's clear he's been keeping this one in for a while. It's heartbreaking for her to think this has been weighing on him. ]

Of course it matters what you want. Just because you can't change it doesn't mean that your feelings on the whole thing don't matter. It's okay to feel conflicted, y'know? Buzz, your best friend left for probably forever and there ain't a thing wrong in wishing he hadn't, even if you know he did it for the right reasons.

[She sure hates it. She wants Woody and Bo to be happy more than anything. She knows Woody has been miserable for a year- and that in leaving he's finally doing something for himself - probably for the first time in his entire existence. But knowing all that doesn't make the hole he's left behind any smaller. ]

You know you can talk to me about this, right? Your feelings always matter to me.

[he wasn't stonewalling her through some fault of jessie's; buzz is just... really trying to keep all this under wraps. he doesn't know how to deal with this. he's told himself so thoroughly that it's fine. he winces a little when she puts her hands on his shoulders, reiterating what happened. he really doesn't like being the one that needs comforting, even after all these years.]

I know. [and he does. he wasn't scared to say any of this to jessie for her sake. it's just something he doesn't want to think about in general.] I just--

[he stops for a moment. he wants it to be simple. buzz knows quite well that just wanting something isn't enough to make it happen and more often than not reality won't line up, but...]

...I don't want him to know it hurt.

[it didn't even have the decency to hurt in the way he thought it would.]

[And that's the rub, isn't it? Woody hasn't experienced any of this, and he's already freaked out about it. He really has gone on to a better life, but it's a lot harder to convince him of that if they show his leaving caused pain. Jessie can, at least, understand it's not the easiest line to tread. Still.]

I think he's gonna work that one out for himself, no matter how we spin it.

[She offers him a small smile, trying to offer comfort if he wants it or not. Buzz's welfare meand the whole dang world to her. Ironically, she doesn't want to see him hurt, either. But what happened did hurt, and there's nothing either of them can do about that.]

Best we can do is let him know we don't hold it against him. Or that he made the wrong decision. He's probably gonna tie himself up in knots about this no matter what we do, but it's probably better for him if we have all the cards out on the table.

You're right. That's how it should be.

[he knows she understands this better than he can, right now. as much as he wishes she didn't, it's her reality. her smile comforts him-- of course it does. it always does.]

I've already tried to make it as clear as I can that it was right for him and that I don't hold it against him. I just... don't know if I could tell him the other side of it.

[buzz shakes his head.]

I don't know what that picture was meant to be.

Well... that's fine. You don't have to. I can do the brutal honesty thing enough for the both of us.

[She's already so talented there, after all! And it's not like it would be a surprise coming from her. She cants her head, considering.]

I don't know. Maybe it's just what you'd like to happen?

...We'll see how it goes. If it comes up again.

[why didn't they teach him this in the academy??? buzz grimaces.]

Maybe. I don't know. I don't know if I want them back like this. [admitting he doesn't know is slightly better than outright denying it, maybe.] ...I won't stop you opening yours. Sorry. I shouldn't have told you that just because mine made me feel weird.

It might not ever. Maybe Woody'll just decide to repress it, too.

[Not likely, but still.]

Well, it's okay not to know too. It's a whole complicated mess. [And emotions are complicated, all the time. She'll give his shoulder a pat.] Don't fret it none. I appreciate you looking out for me. I don't need to see some fake future or... whatever it is anyway. I prefer the here and now.

[Jessie lives in the present- looking forward isn't really her forte. ]

That's not a good thing.

[she might envy his powers of repression, but buzz is self-aware enough to know it's really not how to deal with these things.]

I know you do. I prefer you being here and now, too. I guess... if you ever have curiosity. You'll know what to expect instead of being sideswiped by it.

Not really, no. I'd rather he didn't- but who knows. It's a lot to deal with, he might just decide... not to.

[Probably not though. Woody might not be as emotional as Jessie is, but he's not far off it. He'll hit a breaking point sooner or later. She just hopes it won't be cataclysmic. ]

...I guess it can't hurt to give it a looksie. How bad can it be?

[They've already had the tragedy card punched after all. Jessie doesn't really know what her future holds- nor does she have the strongest of desires for anything ahead of her. Hope is a tricky little monster that she tries her best not to dally with too often. Mostly because it has a fun way of not working out and hurting you in the process.

Still, she'll head over to her box, opening it up carefully. ]

[It's not really a memory- because it's not happened yet. It might not ever happen- which is honestly what Jessie usually steels herself for. She certainly did that with Andy- waited for the worst to finally come. She's been doing it less with Bonnie, lulled into a sense of security that was very much shattered when Woody left.

Hope is for suckers.

And yet the dang thing keeps finding her anyway. She looks at her little picture as the vision fades and hugs it a little close to her chest, crumpling it a little. Still, there's a small smile on her face- perhaps a touch bittersweet, but it's still there. ]

And. There we go.

[he watches her do all this, pearl-clutching and worrying his hands all the while. what if she gets something worse? what if this, what if that!!!!! what's going to happen if woody or bo get these boxes? that's not fair on them! maybe they should warn them...]

You okay? [he asks, reaching out to put a hand on her elbow gently.]

[She turns a little at his touch, offering a little smile.]

Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. It's... fine.

[Perhaps a little hesitantly, she turns the photo over so he can see it. She and Buzz are in the foreground, but the background is a little fuzzy. It's hard to tell where the picture is set and, in fact, who else is in it. That's pretty much the point. With her free hand, Jessie plays with the edge of her braid. She's always been pretty bold with their relationship, heart-on-her-sleeve as she is. She'll chuckle about his awkward and adorable decade-long crush on her til the cows come home and getting him flustered is like a sport.

But this runs a little deeper than the usual shenanigans. This is the sort of thing they don't usually give voice to. A touch of her old anxiety slips back in because as much as she knows Buzz is the safest bet she could ever make, those old scars run deep. There's always a small part of her that's waiting to be abandoned again. ]

It's- um. [Feelings are hard. ] I don't know what'll happen in the future, where we'll all end up and whoever we gain or lose along the way. I don't really think about it a whole lot. I'll cross those bridges when I get to 'em. But I do know that whatever happens, I wanna stick by you for it.

[Because she loves him a whole dang lot and she doesn't want him gone out of life now that he's in it. She knows they don't really have that much of a say in it. The life of a toy is tumultuous at best. There's always a yard sale or a donation drive and kids can lose interest in them just like that. Still- if she can help it at all, she'd very much rather stick by him. Wherever that leads. ]

Long as I can, anyway.

[it's one of those things that's gone unsaid for a variety of reasons, yet practically shouted loudly every day in their casual devotion to one another. all those games of risk, sleeping in a big pile together with woody and bo, the constant casual contact they've had for a decade that neither of them gets tired of. all their stupid little parkour competitions that most of the time, feature rules that only make sense to them.

but... being a toy, that's it, isn't it? it's the sort of thing he figures has probably been at the forefront of her mind after all that happened at the carnival; an inescapable truth they all have to cope with from the moment they come out their boxes. the sort of inevitable probably that looms over every toy and their families; buzz certainly hasn't taken for granted how him and jessie are two of bonnie's favourites and what it means. it's another one of those things he doesn't let himself dwell on for long, knowing it'll make him feel selfish.

right now, though, he doesn't care. he's happy to indulge in the belief that they'll be together for the foreseeable future. he's not going to think about what would happen to either of them if they were separated through one of the hundreds of ways.]

I love you too. [he sees what she's saying. maybe it doesn't need to go unsaid all the time. then, because he's Like That:] To infinity and beyond.

[Well. Of all the ways he could've responded to that, Jessie wasn't expecting this. She knew, of course, deep down. Just because it went unsaid never made it any less real. But there's a difference between knowing something and hearing it. Saying it out loud did something else to it, though. It solidified it, put a line under it in permanent marker. ]

O-oh.

[It's been ten years- and it's not like Buzz has ever been subtle about it. He's been obvious to the point of comedy most of the time. She's always prided herself on having a handle on it. Oh, but if hearing it out loud doesn't make her heart do a little flippity-flop. Perhaps it was that cynical, beat-up part of her that was just expecting to end up unloved and alone that meant this caught her out. Because out of everyone, she knows Buzz wouldn't abandon her - he's stalwart and true to the bitter end. She knows when he tells her that he loves her, he means it. ]

Lord, you're such a nerd.

[That's aimed at the infinity and beyond. Such a nerd. A nervous laugh bubbles out of her- if he ever wondered how to make her as flustered around him as he is around her 90% of the time, he's found it. Turns out all it takes is her being told she actually means something to someone. ]

But I- I do. Love you, I mean. Obviously. Because- that was clear already. With the thing. [Toy God please take her away now, these are too many emotions for her to handle at once and it's making her awkward. She groans, tipping her hat forward, kissing goodbye to her badass street cred.] So. Yup. That's- that's sure a thing.

[why did he say the thing why did he say the thing why did he say the thing WHY DID HE SAY THE THING WHY DID HE SAY THE THING WHY DID HE SAY THE THING WHY DID HE SAY THE THING THIS IS THE LEAST SMOOTH THING HE'S EVER DONE WHY DID HE SAY THE THING]

[okay minor mental breakdown that he absolutely doesn't show aside, this is a really nice moment. he loves it almost as much as he loves her-- gets some kind of minor enjoyment out of seeing her stall out the way he always does. it's nice, because he knows she feels just as strongly as he does.]

But I'm your nerd, [he says, wearing a really smug expression and practically has stars in his eyes. he won't laugh right now, but he might when he looks back on this. goodbye badass street cred indeedly doo.]

[You can't go beyond infinity, Buzz Lightyear, it's not scientifically possible. Why did you say the thing?. He's endlessly lucky that she finds the whole thing so very endearing. And now here he is, looking up at her with that face. It's enough for a brief, sappy smile to cross her features.]

Landsakes.

[She is never going to live this down. She clears her throat, trying to regain some dignity again, already knowing it's a futile task. Some of that dignity is gone now, dust in the wind.]

Darn tootin' you are.

[She plays with her braid a little. She honestly never really thought they would get to this point and here they are. Still, she manages to get a hold of her emotions before they run away with her again.

No, opposite of that. Jessie's never got a hold of her emotions. She's launches herself at Buzz to give him one of her patented spinning bear hugs. Because if ever there was a situation that called for one of those, it's this one. It's definitely not a handshake scenario. ]

[it's not enough to put a damper on it, but there is something that hangs over him that makes him feel bad for taking so long to actually do anything about how he felt, that they had to practically step into death's door before he got himself together. he's bad at feelings, and maybe some part of him was worried that he wasn't good enough for her, or he'd left it too long and kept leaving it.

best not to dwell on that, though, right? he doesn't want to bring the mood down. he prepares for it well enough that he doesn't slip backwards this time, holding onto her tightly for as long as she wants to stand there.]

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