[he wasn't stonewalling her through some fault of jessie's; buzz is just... really trying to keep all this under wraps. he doesn't know how to deal with this. he's told himself so thoroughly that it's fine. he winces a little when she puts her hands on his shoulders, reiterating what happened. he really doesn't like being the one that needs comforting, even after all these years.]
I know. [and he does. he wasn't scared to say any of this to jessie for her sake. it's just something he doesn't want to think about in general.] I just--
[he stops for a moment. he wants it to be simple. buzz knows quite well that just wanting something isn't enough to make it happen and more often than not reality won't line up, but...]
...I don't want him to know it hurt.
[it didn't even have the decency to hurt in the way he thought it would.]
no subject
I know. [and he does. he wasn't scared to say any of this to jessie for her sake. it's just something he doesn't want to think about in general.] I just--
[he stops for a moment. he wants it to be simple. buzz knows quite well that just wanting something isn't enough to make it happen and more often than not reality won't line up, but...]
...I don't want him to know it hurt.
[it didn't even have the decency to hurt in the way he thought it would.]