back at it again at al's toy barn (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mrsnesbitt) wrote2019-09-11 04:05 pm
mrsnesbitt) wrote2019-09-11 04:05 pm
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[by this point, he knows her well enough to know how this must be piling up and grating against her existing issues. a drop in a lake that turns into a maelstrom. buzz concentrates on her weight against him and focuses on a little pattern on the wallpaper behind her to keep himself grounded. he shifts his hand lightly, knotting his fingers in the tuft of red yarn at the end of jessie's braid-- kind of like how she strokes it when she's anxious.]
I know, [buzz tries his damndest not to sound defeated there. he wants to say at least they have more time with woody, at least they get to see bo again for longer, but none of it seems like it would land well. at what cost?
he's still not pulling back. he could stay here forever.] you should try and get some rest after going through all that. I'll make sure nothing gets on you.
I know, [buzz tries his damndest not to sound defeated there. he wants to say at least they have more time with woody, at least they get to see bo again for longer, but none of it seems like it would land well. at what cost?
he's still not pulling back. he could stay here forever.] you should try and get some rest after going through all that. I'll make sure nothing gets on you.
[Good job, Space Ranger, the feeling of his fingers in her yarn...hair works wonders. It's one of her go-to grounding strategies and it helps keep the tide back. It brings everything down to a dull roar again. Okay. Okay. She can deal with this.
She tilts her head a little, only enough so she can peer at him. ]
You promise?
[Which in hindsight is a stupid thing to ask- she has exactly zero doubts that Buzz would do anything else at this point. It comes out a lot weaker than she'd like too- but it comes out anyway because she honestly does just want a good nights sleep to quiet the anxiety monster in her head for a little while. ]
Just a couple hours, that's all I need. Enough to get back on my feet again.
She tilts her head a little, only enough so she can peer at him. ]
You promise?
[Which in hindsight is a stupid thing to ask- she has exactly zero doubts that Buzz would do anything else at this point. It comes out a lot weaker than she'd like too- but it comes out anyway because she honestly does just want a good nights sleep to quiet the anxiety monster in her head for a little while. ]
Just a couple hours, that's all I need. Enough to get back on my feet again.
[jessie he would literally die for you fifty times over, sitting and looking at stupid network memes or reading a book or whatever while you sleep is almost not even out of the ordinary.]
You can have as long as you need. I hardly have anything I need to get to today.
You can have as long as you need. I hardly have anything I need to get to today.
[He breathes out deeply, and if a toy could have stress lines in his face, he sure would right about now.
There's an obvious skepticism when he looks at Buzz; he sees something's all kinds of wrong here, even if he doesn't know what. And he can't help but make that abundantly clear:]
... You thought it'd be cruel to tell me it was a good year? That everyone'd be safe and happy a year from now?
[He looks like he's hoping for a good reply here. He might drop it. He might just drop the whole thing altogether, whether he feels something's off or not, if Buzz scrounges up a decent response. If he just... makes him feel like he's thinking all wrong and he's seeing too much into this. Buzz and Jessie'd never do anything to intentionally hurt him, anyway; that much he's confident about.]
There's an obvious skepticism when he looks at Buzz; he sees something's all kinds of wrong here, even if he doesn't know what. And he can't help but make that abundantly clear:]
... You thought it'd be cruel to tell me it was a good year? That everyone'd be safe and happy a year from now?
[He looks like he's hoping for a good reply here. He might drop it. He might just drop the whole thing altogether, whether he feels something's off or not, if Buzz scrounges up a decent response. If he just... makes him feel like he's thinking all wrong and he's seeing too much into this. Buzz and Jessie'd never do anything to intentionally hurt him, anyway; that much he's confident about.]
[tragically, buzz has no idea how close he is to possibly getting off the verbal hook-- though... even if he was aware, it's not something he'd really want. it would still mean lying to woody through omission, it would still mean jessie has his badge under her hat. it would still mean the little back and forths they've had for all those years would leave him feeling bittersweet, knowing that when they wake up, when sodder is done with them, however it works-- knowing that it won't ever happen again.
what would leaving it when woody's already realised they weren't forthcoming about the time difference mean? he's a smart guy, there's a heavy why behind it. then what, he goes and asks jessie? even if buzz had decided to keep it up, woody would've likely seen through him immediately with the way his brows furrow as he glances to the floor. focusing on a knot in the floorboards like it's a teleprompter that could tell him all the right things to say.
he grips the edge of the box a little tighter.] ...The last couple weeks, a lot changed.
[it had been happening months before that, he knows, but the last couple of weeks was the most important.]
Bonnie was about to start Kindergarten, but she... wasn't really happy about orientation. She was scared and wasn't able to take a toy with her for comfort, so... you snuck into her pack. I don't blame you-- seeing her so miserable before her parents took her was awful. When you got back, apparently during the day she'd made herself a toy friend at school. Literally made him-- he's called Forky; made from a spork, some googly eyes and bendy pipe cleaner.
[and buzz has no idea how vital woody was to the BIRTH OF THIS NEW LIFE.]
So, uh... he didn't know he was a toy. He was made out of trash so he thought he was trash? I'm not sure how that works. I don't want to think about it. Anyway, in the week or so Bonnie had before she was going to start Kindergarten for real, her parents decided to go on a roadtrip. She took the whole gang and Forky.
[a beat. he grimaces.]
Do you remember when I first woke up here, I mentioned an RV and asked about a carnival?
what would leaving it when woody's already realised they weren't forthcoming about the time difference mean? he's a smart guy, there's a heavy why behind it. then what, he goes and asks jessie? even if buzz had decided to keep it up, woody would've likely seen through him immediately with the way his brows furrow as he glances to the floor. focusing on a knot in the floorboards like it's a teleprompter that could tell him all the right things to say.
he grips the edge of the box a little tighter.] ...The last couple weeks, a lot changed.
[it had been happening months before that, he knows, but the last couple of weeks was the most important.]
Bonnie was about to start Kindergarten, but she... wasn't really happy about orientation. She was scared and wasn't able to take a toy with her for comfort, so... you snuck into her pack. I don't blame you-- seeing her so miserable before her parents took her was awful. When you got back, apparently during the day she'd made herself a toy friend at school. Literally made him-- he's called Forky; made from a spork, some googly eyes and bendy pipe cleaner.
[and buzz has no idea how vital woody was to the BIRTH OF THIS NEW LIFE.]
So, uh... he didn't know he was a toy. He was made out of trash so he thought he was trash? I'm not sure how that works. I don't want to think about it. Anyway, in the week or so Bonnie had before she was going to start Kindergarten for real, her parents decided to go on a roadtrip. She took the whole gang and Forky.
[a beat. he grimaces.]
Do you remember when I first woke up here, I mentioned an RV and asked about a carnival?
[he just nods gently in response, bending slightly to scoop her up into a bridal carry. it'll be perfectly easy to carry her upstairs with the little blocks they've put on each step to make climbing less arduous. buzz doesn't start off immediately, though-- there's a creeping feeling invading his mind that's stuck around since they were in the incinerator; the very real fear that... things won't always work out. no matter how hard they try, things like this are going to happen, and they're going to keep happening.
woody leaving was different. this was just violent and ignoble, mami was someone who was so kind and tried so hard to do the right thing, she almost suffocated herself trying to save him...! buzz holds jessie close for a long few moments, burying his face in the crook of her neck. he'll deal with it later.
after a little sigh, he starts off carrying her up the stairs.]
Come on, Bullseye. You're invited too.
woody leaving was different. this was just violent and ignoble, mami was someone who was so kind and tried so hard to do the right thing, she almost suffocated herself trying to save him...! buzz holds jessie close for a long few moments, burying his face in the crook of her neck. he'll deal with it later.
after a little sigh, he starts off carrying her up the stairs.]
Come on, Bullseye. You're invited too.
Edited 2019-11-13 20:14 (UTC)
[She is absolutely never going to argue him carrying her around. Not in a million years. Jessie might well pride herself on being the roughest toughest cowgirl in the west- but this is the one allowance she'll have. Because when all's said and done, it makes her feel safe. Buzz makes her feel safe.
She won't comment on the pause- hell, she can't blame him, it's a lot to take in all at once, there. She'll just curl into him, giving a little click of her tongue to let Bullseye know it was fine- and lo the little horse followed them upstairs. ]
She won't comment on the pause- hell, she can't blame him, it's a lot to take in all at once, there. She'll just curl into him, giving a little click of her tongue to let Bullseye know it was fine- and lo the little horse followed them upstairs. ]
[with jessie leaning against him proper, it gives him the chance to one-armed carry her for a few moments, using his free hand to reach out and give bullseye another little scritch on his mane. he exchanges a worried glance with the ragdoll horse as they climb, though says nothing.
he helps them both up onto the bed and settles next to her. when she wakes up, as promised, he'll still be there. reading some book about the space race. bullseye laying asleep between them, gangly legs everywhere, tongue lolling. it's cute.]
he helps them both up onto the bed and settles next to her. when she wakes up, as promised, he'll still be there. reading some book about the space race. bullseye laying asleep between them, gangly legs everywhere, tongue lolling. it's cute.]
[Jessie slept for much longer than the 'couple hours' she was planning on. But she honestly needed it- and knowing Buzz was keeping watch meant she could finally get some gosh-darned rest. She does, eventually, rouse into the land of being awake from whatever... weird sleep state toys go into.
She sits up carefully, glad that, true to his word, there were no awful cuccoons covering her face. One last thing to stress out about. She smiles a little, giving Bullseye a little scritch as he continues to sleep and dream horse-y dreams. ]
The space race, huh? [That totally works as a hello, what are you talking about. She stretches a little, she feels considerably better already, lord. And then, helpfully, because she was around for it:] You know, people went wild about the whole Sputnik thing.
[It also spelt the end of Woody's Roundup, but honestly, she's WAY less salty about that than Pete was.]
She sits up carefully, glad that, true to his word, there were no awful cuccoons covering her face. One last thing to stress out about. She smiles a little, giving Bullseye a little scritch as he continues to sleep and dream horse-y dreams. ]
The space race, huh? [That totally works as a hello, what are you talking about. She stretches a little, she feels considerably better already, lord. And then, helpfully, because she was around for it:] You know, people went wild about the whole Sputnik thing.
[It also spelt the end of Woody's Roundup, but honestly, she's WAY less salty about that than Pete was.]
[buzz had no intention of waking her, not unless something truly dire happened. which... also wasn't out of the question. they lucked out! nothing did.]
So I've heard, [he says idly, flipping back to a page with a big spread picture of public reactions to the launch and holding it up for jessie to see. he turns the page after a moment, pointing to another picture of laika.] and the second one. Bit of a sad story there, though.
[poor pup. he wanted cool space facts, not this heartbreaking story!]
How are you feeling?
So I've heard, [he says idly, flipping back to a page with a big spread picture of public reactions to the launch and holding it up for jessie to see. he turns the page after a moment, pointing to another picture of laika.] and the second one. Bit of a sad story there, though.
[poor pup. he wanted cool space facts, not this heartbreaking story!]
How are you feeling?
[Oh yeah. The dog. Jessie grimaces a little, her little critter loving heart sure did bleed.]
Yeah, that was awful. Emily cried for days after that. She was so sad when she learned the dog wouldn't come back.
[Even cool space facts bring out the crappiest stories, sorry hon.]
Better, I mean... this place is still pretty dang awful, standing by that one. [Deerington is the worst. She offers a little smile.] But I'm feeling a lot better now I've had some shut-eye. Thanks.
Yeah, that was awful. Emily cried for days after that. She was so sad when she learned the dog wouldn't come back.
[Even cool space facts bring out the crappiest stories, sorry hon.]
Better, I mean... this place is still pretty dang awful, standing by that one. [Deerington is the worst. She offers a little smile.] But I'm feeling a lot better now I've had some shut-eye. Thanks.
[he really thought this day couldn't get any worse, he had to think "oh! a nice story about a dog that goes into space!" good lord he's so tired, why is everything so awful all the time? buzz grimaces, but doesn't comment further on it. he doesn't want to think about it.]
No problem. I don't mind sitting up whenever you need it.
No problem. I don't mind sitting up whenever you need it.
[Jessie swiftly, and with her usual casual grace, clambers over Bullseye to sit closer to him. Sorry, faithful steed, she's got some serious hand holdin' to get in on.]
I know, but I appreciate it anyway. I really do feel a lot better.
[Emotions recharged, feeling marginally less like the world is going to collapse in on her. So, now, she'll focus on him. Fair's fair.]
How about you? How're you feeling?
I know, but I appreciate it anyway. I really do feel a lot better.
[Emotions recharged, feeling marginally less like the world is going to collapse in on her. So, now, she'll focus on him. Fair's fair.]
How about you? How're you feeling?
[how about buzz does her one better-- he shifts so she can slip into his lap... or at least, the general area where his lap is. toy anatomy, dude. even if it means he can't really see the book over her; he was over it the moment he read two lines into laika's story. he'll never trust again. space is bad, actually.]
[never mind, he just looked out the window while she was settling and saw a star. oh, space. he can't stay mad at you!
anyway:] I'm fine. I'm just glad nothing happened while you slept.
anyway:] I'm fine. I'm just glad nothing happened while you slept.
[Oooh, Mr. Lightyear, oooh! Jessie's resigned herself on their little romance moving with all the speed of a racing glacier- and she's a-ok with that. Buzz is just... conscientious and that doth not make for whirlwind romances. It's part of his charm, and it honestly balances out her general chaos, so it's all good.
But every now and again he surprises her and it delights the heck out of her. She lets out a surprised squeak as she's plopped in his lap- before a grin crosses her face. Yes please and thank you, this is genuinely fine. ]
But every now and again he surprises her and it delights the heck out of her. She lets out a surprised squeak as she's plopped in his lap- before a grin crosses her face. Yes please and thank you, this is genuinely fine. ]
[She turns her head to the window and... oh. Is he thinking about space again? God, he's probably thinking about space again.
And then he says that, and one eyebrow arches. Did you really think you could get away with that, Buzz? Did you really?]
I don't believe you. It's been a terrible month and I know when you're repressing stuff. Your eyebrows get all crinkly. You wanna try that again? [She clears her throat, then, theatrically: ] How're you feeling?
And then he says that, and one eyebrow arches. Did you really think you could get away with that, Buzz? Did you really?]
I don't believe you. It's been a terrible month and I know when you're repressing stuff. Your eyebrows get all crinkly. You wanna try that again? [She clears her throat, then, theatrically: ] How're you feeling?
[HRNRNRHGNG... he presses his index and middle finger to one of his plastic eyebrows... betrayal.]
I... [he really obviously just wants to say "i'm fine" again, but he can't really lie to jessie!! buzz isn't good at it and doesn't like doing it besides!!] I just... can't stop thinking about Mami. I saw before how her power malfunctions affected her.
[and boy does he not want to think about that time she was bleeding out the eyes and choking and he super thought she was about to die right in front of him.]
It made her so scared.
I... [he really obviously just wants to say "i'm fine" again, but he can't really lie to jessie!! buzz isn't good at it and doesn't like doing it besides!!] I just... can't stop thinking about Mami. I saw before how her power malfunctions affected her.
[and boy does he not want to think about that time she was bleeding out the eyes and choking and he super thought she was about to die right in front of him.]
It made her so scared.
Edited (IT WAS WORSE THAN I REMEMBER) 2019-11-15 20:43 (UTC)
[Kindergarten orientation. Memories of Andy's came flooding back to him, too — how nervous he'd been... How nervous his mom had been, too, because the last few years before that had been difficult enough as it was. He couldn't say he was surprised he snuck into Bonnie's backpack at all, not when he'd had a little too much experience in it.
He stares, a little surprised.]
A spork... that... was alive. Like a toy? Alive-alive?
[Buzz, please, you're already giving him too much to think about. Don't go throwing weird, new concepts at his head. Sporks aren't toys; they don't just come alive like that, or else they'd have had a lot of new friends at picnics and parties. As he process that — ]
Huh...? Yeah — yeah, I remember.
I'd thought you were acting pretty weird, back then...
He stares, a little surprised.]
A spork... that... was alive. Like a toy? Alive-alive?
[Buzz, please, you're already giving him too much to think about. Don't go throwing weird, new concepts at his head. Sporks aren't toys; they don't just come alive like that, or else they'd have had a lot of new friends at picnics and parties. As he process that — ]
Huh...? Yeah — yeah, I remember.
I'd thought you were acting pretty weird, back then...
[there's a brief pause while he frowns-- okay, maybe forky isn't actually as important to this as buzz had first thought. maybe when he looks over this whole conversation later, he might even realise he was just getting himself caught up in the small details to delay the ending a little more, or just realise how little he actually knows about what happened. right now, though, he just feels like he stood in a stupid sticky fly trap and fell flat on his face.]
--Ah... okay, maybe Forky isn't-- we'll talk about him later, maybe? He's not actually... entirely relevant.
[or maybe it was another little naive hope that mentioning forky would make woody snap his fingers and be like ah-ha! i remember now! hopeful to the end, is mr lightyear.]
I tried not to, but... when we stopped at the carnival, it was at this small town. One of those little tourist stops for people on a long drive, right? [toy-god alive, he's messed this up. dumping all of this on woody at one time, at this point straight up unable to stop himself. what a terrible friend he is! lying and then coming clean in the worse possible way! jessie and bo will probably defenestrate for being such a weak link and this time he'll fully deserve it.] Bo was there. Bo Peep. It's where she'd ended up after all those years. Forky had managed to get himself caught up by a toy in an antique store there, and after the day we spent extracting him... you decided to stay with Bo and travel with the carnival.
[he holds his hands up, because as much as he's screwing this up, he knows woody well enough to know how he'll react.]
It was the right choice. I pushed you towards it. Jessie and I-- we'll never see you and Bo again, but it was what you both needed to be happy.
--Ah... okay, maybe Forky isn't-- we'll talk about him later, maybe? He's not actually... entirely relevant.
[or maybe it was another little naive hope that mentioning forky would make woody snap his fingers and be like ah-ha! i remember now! hopeful to the end, is mr lightyear.]
I tried not to, but... when we stopped at the carnival, it was at this small town. One of those little tourist stops for people on a long drive, right? [toy-god alive, he's messed this up. dumping all of this on woody at one time, at this point straight up unable to stop himself. what a terrible friend he is! lying and then coming clean in the worse possible way! jessie and bo will probably defenestrate for being such a weak link and this time he'll fully deserve it.] Bo was there. Bo Peep. It's where she'd ended up after all those years. Forky had managed to get himself caught up by a toy in an antique store there, and after the day we spent extracting him... you decided to stay with Bo and travel with the carnival.
[he holds his hands up, because as much as he's screwing this up, he knows woody well enough to know how he'll react.]
It was the right choice. I pushed you towards it. Jessie and I-- we'll never see you and Bo again, but it was what you both needed to be happy.
Edited (wording DIDNT SEEM GREAT) 2019-11-16 12:12 (UTC)
[You can never trust your own facial features, it turns out. Jessie listens, frowning softly- that would explain why everything went so... very wrong. She doesn't understand all the ins-and-outs of Mami's powers, but the whole goddamn month was out to get them. It isn't a big jump to make that the moon messed her up big time. ]
I guess that was why. Maybe she was afraid of what would happen if her powers got the better of her.
[What is magic? How does it work? She puts an arm around his back, giving him a little one-armed hug. ]
I'm sorry, I know it's gotta be hard. She means a lot to you.
[Because once Buzz has decided he cares about someone he cares about them with every goddamn fibre of his being. It's a skill she both admires and envies a little. He's a good guy, and this place is going to continue hurting him because of that fact. ]
I guess that was why. Maybe she was afraid of what would happen if her powers got the better of her.
[What is magic? How does it work? She puts an arm around his back, giving him a little one-armed hug. ]
I'm sorry, I know it's gotta be hard. She means a lot to you.
[Because once Buzz has decided he cares about someone he cares about them with every goddamn fibre of his being. It's a skill she both admires and envies a little. He's a good guy, and this place is going to continue hurting him because of that fact. ]
Maybe. They were hurting her quite badly.
[he exhales again-- jessie is right, of course. buzz cares deeply about her, even if they've had a really awkward friendship thus far. she knows what its like when you connect with someone like that. maybe it's their status as toys that makes them ride or die that much harder and faster.]
She didn't deserve it, but I have a feeling she would disagree with me on that.
[he exhales again-- jessie is right, of course. buzz cares deeply about her, even if they've had a really awkward friendship thus far. she knows what its like when you connect with someone like that. maybe it's their status as toys that makes them ride or die that much harder and faster.]
She didn't deserve it, but I have a feeling she would disagree with me on that.
She probably would, that kid is awful hard on herself.
[She offers him the ghost of a smile - an attempt at encouragement. He's helped her recharge her batteries enough to get up and at-em again, it's only right she does the same for him.]
That's why it's important she has folk who'll tell her otherwise, right? Not give up on her.
[She offers him the ghost of a smile - an attempt at encouragement. He's helped her recharge her batteries enough to get up and at-em again, it's only right she does the same for him.]
That's why it's important she has folk who'll tell her otherwise, right? Not give up on her.
Had.
[it's not working, for one awful reason buzz isn't aware of yet.]
She's gone.
[it's not working, for one awful reason buzz isn't aware of yet.]
She's gone.
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