[It's the worst experience, she hates it every time it happens to him.]
I know they'll need to know eventually. [She picks up what he puts down, glancing back at the house. ] They've just been so happy lately. I don't want to mess that up.
[Because lord know their happiness is always so fleeting here.]
It was... weirdly freeing? [Does she sound guilty about that? She sure sounds guilty.] I was still angry all the time, but nothing else was there. No memories of Emily or being in the box. It was all gone. ...But then I didn't have memories of any of you and that- I hate that.
[that's all he can really say to that. he promised jessie he wouldn't share it and it really is up to her to decide when to tell them. this isn't something like accidentally breaking someone's accessory while trying to do a stunt with it and not wanting to be chased around the room and smacked with mrs potato head's purse.]
A double-edged sword. You got freedom from your past at the expense of... everything else. [which is to say, he doesn't think poorly of her for enjoying the freedom. it stings, but he can't imagine it hurts any more than when he looks at her with no recognition when his switch is flipped.] You're not you without it. Without the relationships you've formed with me and the others, without all the strength it took for you to get to where you are now.
Don't much like the thought of that none. But I guess that's just how this place works.
[It's very much that feeling- of watching what makes him him vanish away like it was never there at all. She hates it. Every single time. She sucks in a breath, leaning against him a little, taking the comfort she could.]
It wasn't me, and I don't want it to be me. I just... don't know if it'll ever happen again. I sure hope not, but we never know.
That's what your blanket is for. To lessen the effects but not lose them all together, so you're still you.
[buzz just... shakes his head as he looks away for a moment. talking about it like this is all well and good, but he knows it's going to happen again. it's inevitable. when jessie came out her box-- did she think she was a real cowgirl, too? with their own inner workings and timelines up in the air, there's not even one single way it could happen again.]
I hate to say it, but all we can do is deal with it as it happens. That's really all any of the Sleepers here can do when these things happen. At least... whenever it's over, we'll all be here with you to help.
I know... I don't always want to rely on it, but I guess I really need it more than I realised.
[She doesn't want to use it as a crutch- she got by back home without it. But this place... well, this place knows not only how to press all her buttons, but can also create whole new buttons to press repeatedly. She doesn't like it at all.
She manages a fleeting smile.]
I know that, too. I'm real grateful that you're here. It means more than anything that you're here. Don't reckon I could deal with this place without you here.
If you ever get scared of how much you use it... let me know. I can deal with it.
[he's pretty insistent he deals with everything, it seems like. that said, he knows what he'd do with it. just put it in a lockbox and hide the key.]
Oh, believe me, I understand. I thought I'd lose it if it was just me and Woody. [he says that in jest, obviously.] And seeing Bo for more than five minutes? That's only a good thing.
[Buzz, honey, stop taking on everything. It's too much. Buzz please.]
I'm pretty sure if it was just you and Woody, this place would be on fire by now. [She loves you boys but you are both A Lot. Especially together.] It's been so good to spend time with Bo again.
We're not that bad... [said in the tone of someone who knows they are absolutely that bad.] I didn't get to see her much even in the Basin. It all went by so fast and we had so much to do.
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